On the 6th, Elsie woke up at 2 in the morning. I managed to slip into happy mom mode – the one where you’re not bitter about being awake, and you just drink it in. Elsie slept on my chest for a little while, not just heavy in my arms, and it’s just the sweetest feeling ever to have a baby tucked under your chin, above your heart.
My friend Nikki is also a birth photographer, and a couple days ago asked for people to define motherhood. So while I had my sleeping sweet pea to rock, I wrote this on my phone:
Motherhood is love without choice. There was love before, doled out however you saw fit. You chose the recipients and the volume and the intensity. Now though, there is a creature who just showed up one day, with all your love attached, and they are skipping about, with your love spilling out everywhere.
It’s far from a perfect description, but it’s a start. 😊 I was awfully grateful for that hour with my baby girl, but also quite grateful for my warm snuggly bed when it was over.
Yesterday and today have honestly bled into each other in my brain. Although yesterday, I did manage to get a 45 minute nap, and got quite a bit of work done in the morning. I am so, so grateful my mom has been here the past three days to watch the babies and play with them in the morning, so I could get stuff done. And I’ve gotten SO much done (never as much as I want, but really… whenEVER will *that* happen?)
Tonight, I’m grateful to be in bed before midnight. This week is kicking my ass – I’ll be glad when work settles down again.